Just sugar; I have my own cream

[khaosworks]

Naked man orders coffee while masturbating
Canadian Press
Oct. 26, 2005 10:31 AM

WOODSTOCK, Ont. - A man who drove up to a Tim Hortons drive-thru while stark naked and masturbating has pleaded guilty to committing an indecent act, saying "fantasy" got the best of him.

A female employee at the restaurant in nearby Thamesford took an order for a large coffee just past midnight on Oct. 3, prosecutor Michael Carnegie told court Tuesday.

When the car pulled up to the window, the employee noticed a man alone in the vehicle, completely nude and masturbating, Carnegie said.

The man handed money to the employee with his unoccupied left hand, court heard.

The employee wrote down the car's licence plate number and called police.

When the 38-year-old Woodstock man met with police after the incident, he admitted to doing "a bad thing" and suggested he did it "for the thrill," court heard.

Joseph Priddle will be sentenced Dec. 6.

Insert obvious and obligatory, "Tim Hortons coffee is pretty good, but I didn't think it was that good," joke here.

Being naked is a bit hard to get away from. At least he didn't try to claim that he was SMS-ing and it only looked like he was masturbating. (cf. Public Prosecutor v. Saravanan s/o Vellasamy [2003] SGMC 2).

(and at least he had something to hold his doughnuts)

Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week.

Comments

[braider.livejournal.com]

Regarding your overly-apt subject line:

Eeewwwww!

[/teenage girl]

[nelladarren.livejournal.com]

I also wanted to say "thank you" for that subject line! Yay!

[mz-bstone.livejournal.com]

dude

I don't think I'll ever be able to look at a glazed doughnut at Tim's again...

B

[filkerdave.livejournal.com]

And here I thought Canadians were all quiet and refined :)

[thespian.livejournal.com]

we are. He paid politely, using the unoccupied hand, didn't cause a disturbance, probably stopped at traffic lights, etc. In all honesty, it's the woman who reported him who is a little unusual in this case - I don't think I know anyone who'd report him, they'd just tell the story for YEARS.

[poltr1]

Geez. Someone should have spilled the coffee in his lap. YEOW!

[buckeyebrain.livejournal.com]

Then he'd have sued Tim Horton's for $3 million. And if Canadian courts are anything like the US, he'd have won, too.

[shikyrie.livejournal.com]

roflmao at the donut holder joke... and I second the spilling the coffee opinion