an icepick through the keyhole

You'd think a phrase like 'pubic wig' wouldn't come up very often. But as it happens, I sent out an e-mail to all my friends not TOO hideously long ago making fun of W's pronunciation of the word 'American.'

You've heard him--he says "Merkin'"

Guess what a 'merkin' is? That's right. A pubic wig. Your post is now eerily appropriate. :)