Somebody had to do it

Ever since I wrote the original last year people have been making snarky comments about what they thought it was about. Bowing to the inevitable, I thought I'd better write the parody before someone else beat me to it...

Hold The Line
Lyrics (C) 2002 by Terence Chua
(to the tune of "Hold the Line" by Terence Chua)

The line you called is busy but we want to take your call
So sit back and relax, and listen to this happy song
We're sad to keep you waiting, it'll take no time at all
We promise that it won't be very long

Our operators who were standing by are occupied
We didn't think there would be so much traffic at this time
We swear that we'll be with you once we get ourselves untied
So hold the line, oh please, just hold the line

Chorus:
Hold the line, don't hang up or we'll be sorry
Hold the line, it'll be worth it, wait and see
We appreciate your business, we will get to you in time
So hold the line, oh please, just hold the line

Your tension may be mounting as you hear this same old dreck
But there's only so much variation that we can divine
From phrases such as wait, hang on, be with you in a sec,
So hold the line, oh, please, just hold the line

(Chorus)

Bridge:
If you think that this is torture being steadily ignored
Just think of all the calls that we endure here everyday
From people who can't find the "any" key on their keyboard
Who use their CD trays for drinks then blame us when they break

We'll be there in a few minutes if your patience still survives
Your queue position's moving to the first place in the line
You're almost there... but sorry! Office hours now are over
We hope that you have better luck next time

(Chorus X 2)

So hold the line, oh, please, just hold the line