"Hang on, this isn't going to be subtle."

If there's one phrase to sum up watching "The Core" - or as I like to call it, "Fantastic Voyage to the Center of the Earth" - it would be, "Delightfully absurd." It's actually not bad, once you get past the ridiculousness of the basic premise, and unlike many other bad SF movies, it doesn't change the rules on you mid-stream. You just need to accept that the core of the Earth is somehow ceasing to rotate, that a large nuclear explosion can jumpstart it again, that a magical metal allows our heroes to travel into the core, and then you're mostly fine, with just one or two little plot holes.

The rest of the movie flows predictably but comfortably, and surprisingly old-fashioned as my alternative title might suggest, with the expected archetypes straight out of Irwin Allen - brave commander, maverick scientist, sacrificial lamb, best buddy, cowardly/arrogant team member, romantic interest... and they even throw in the smartass kid. Best of all, and I applaud the writers and directors for this - the romance meter is tuned way, way down on this one. Yes, there's some chemistry, but it's not in your face and it doesn't end with them making out. For that mercy alone I recommend the movie.

Otherwise, it's a by the numbers, popcorn crunching cinema experience. It's got snappy dialogue and decent effects. Best thing I can say, it's nice, it's easy, it doesn't piss me off. I give it a 7.5 out of 10.

In other news: welcome, mrdankelly! I don't normally welcome new readers, but he appears to have found me out of nowhere and has no links to any of my regular friends lists, and that's remarkable in itself. So, hope you enjoy the rants from here on end.