"Well, Mr President, You can't say Dallas doesn't love you."

For about seven years or so, I've harbored this little theory.

Follow - there's oodles of evidence that there was this pre-determined conspiracy to kill Kennedy. Doubles of Oswald seen aplenty. A second gunman sighted on the grassy knoll. The three tramps in the background of the photos. And a cover-up after the assassination, with evidence and witnesses silenced.

There's also evidence that Oswald did it on his own. There's ballistics reconstructions to show that the single shooter theory could work (if not the magic bullet theory). Oswald himself had motives to assassinate Kennedy - being a supporter of Castro and all that. Oswald was also aware of a conspiracy and he was threatening to blow it before Jack Ruby shot him.

Incompatible versions of reality? Maybe not. What if both were true?

Of course this is pure speculation, and I haven't mustered up enough enthusiasm to go digging and see if it's consistent with all the known facts or allegations, but consider this scenario. The military industrial complex, together with the CIA and the Cubans and the Mafia and whomever, decide to kill Kennedy. A complex plan is formulated, up to and including using Oswald as a patsy, having a second gunman on the knoll, and so on.

However, no-one realizes Oswald has his own agenda, nor that he would find out about the conspiracy to frame him. On the day in question, everything is set up nicely. The assassin is set up on the grassy knoll. He sees Kennedy slowly draw into his sights. He takes aim, holds it steady, prepares to pull the trigger...

... and hears the shots ring out over Dealy Plaza and sees Kennedy's head burst into a bloom of blood.

What the fuck?!

Oswald packs up the rifle and leaves the Book Repository. The would-be assassin on the grassy knoll calls in and reports that someone else has shot Kennedy. The plants in the crowd spot Oswald, and quickly the conspirators piece together what has happened - Oswald, acting on his own, has carried out the assassination plan without authorization.

And so the cover-up begins - not to hide a conspiracy that succeeded, but one that failed to be carried out. And of course, since this was never anticipated, the clumsy manner in which it had to be executed, to accommodate finding and silencing Oswald, leaves holes, and leads people to believe a conspiracy killed Kennedy.

Like I said, I haven't matched it up with the known facts. For all I know, this is equally as improbable as any other theory or there's one or more facts out there that'll blow mine out of the water. But I like the elegance of it.

And of course, the irony. Oooh, the irony.

Happy birthday, Theta Sigma

"Let me get this straight. A thing that looks like a police box standing in a junkyard... it can move anywhere in time and space?"

-- Ian Chesterton (William Russell), "An Unearthly Child" (November 23, 1963).

"He is impulsive, idealistic, ready to risk his life for a worthy cause. He hates tyranny and oppression, and anything that is anti-life. He never gives in, and he never gives up, however overwhelming the odds against him. The Doctor believes in good and fights evil. Though often caught up in violent situations, he is a man of peace. He is never cruel or cowardly. In fact, to put it simply, the Doctor is a hero. These days, there aren't so many of them..."

-- unrecorded bonus track on "Doctor Who: Seasons of Fear".

"His one abiding characteristic, whichever body he wears, whatever gibberish he speaks, however erratically he acts, is his unerring sense for what is right. I trust him absolutely, and I always have."

-- Romana (Lalla Ward), "Doctor Who: Neverland".

"I know monsters... I'm the Doctor!"

-- The Doctor (Richard E. Grant), "The Scream of the Shalka".

I first met the Doctor in a comic book annual, in 1980. I'm not even sure why it was given to me - in those days, the annuals were expensive for a kid my age and usually gifts from various adult relatives. I might have asked for it, thinking it was Blake's 7 related (I was a huge Blake's 7 fan, and loved to run around, electric hair-curlers in hand pretending to shoot people).

Anyway, here it was. Tom Baker as the Doctor, and his companion was Leela. I didn't understand it much, really - there was a police box, and it could travel in time and space, and it broke down a lot. But the pictures were cool, the stories were a bit scary, and there were these things called Daleks. He did make an impression, because I recall calling one of the many comic book characters I drew as a child Tom Barker, and that was very consciously a take-off on Baker's name.

My next memory of the Doctor is watching him on television. Only two images stand out in my mind - the swamp creatures climbing out of the mist at the end of the first episode of "Full Circle", and the awakening of Davros at the end of episode two of "Destiny of the Daleks". Funny how you always remember the cliffhangers...

Over the years, I read the occasional Doctor Who Magazine, flipped through the Marvel series drawn by Dave Gibbons, was vaguely aware that Tom had been replaced by Peter Davison, but paid not much attention beyond that. I wasn't even aware that the Doctor had been cancelled in 1989.

I came to London in 1991, and people were gearing up for the Doctor's 30th birthday in 1993. There were tons of videos on sale, and the Virgin New Adventures were in full swing. Since there was precious little on the telly that was worth watching as far as British SF was concerned (except for the odd episode of Red Dwarf), I decided to re-educate myself as to the Doctor. I think my first NA was probably Love and War, and the first new Doctor Who I saw was "Remembrance of the Daleks."

And at the end of the first episode when the Dalek floated up the stairs, I was in love with the show forever. Funny how you always remember the cliffhangers...

How did you meet the Doctor? Share your memories, if you have them. Favorite quotes, episodes, cliffhangers, whatever.