an icepick through the keyhole

I'm not planning on committing any crimes...but then again, I wasn't planning on taking in 14 bantam chickens either...these things happen. :) Should I take the time now to find a good criminal lawyer and have his number handy, or will they let me surf the web for a few mins before my call to track one down...? :)

And what if my brother's a non-criminal type lawyer...should I hve him go find a lawyer for me instead? Do they allow long distance calls overseas?

So many questions crop up from this one question...