Not the Bermaga

[khaosworks]

This episode was written by the same people that brought us the quite enjoyable "Dead Stop", with Bermaga getting no writing or story credit, so... optimism, people!

So, thoughts as I watch...



"We're very relieved to see you..." No, you wouldn't if you knew who these Starfleet people were. Run! Run away! "Once we're aboard we suggest you go to Warp 7 immediately." Oh boy, are these guys optimistic. If this wave front thing is dangerous, then we're in a lot of trouble. And Quantum's Furrows of Doom signal jeopardy as we fade to credits...

It's scary how proficient I am now at fast forwarding the theme song so that I lift my finger off the button just as the last notes die away. Negative reinforcement works.

Okay, so they're going to hide in the maintenance shafts along the nacelles, along with supplies. Also, they'll have to shut down the main reactor. What does that do to life support, though? Hope the batteries are duracell.

I find it hard to believe that with all the times he's been the butt of poop (sorry, "pewp") jokes, Trip never thought about a latrine and had to be reminded by Maywho. Butt. Poop jokes. Heh heh. Get it? Oh, you're no fun.

Isn't it kind of weird that nobody seems to have prepped the rear bridge? I mean, if it's meant to function as a backup, shouldn't it be like, maintained to get going at a moment's notice? I'm just sayin'. I suppose it's shielded as well? Any particular reason if it is? Yeah, yeah, I'm watchin'.

"Not much room for a Captain's chair." Ouch - low blow, Ensign. Speaking of which, thank God the writers have finally noticed that Maywho has had more experience in deep space than anyone else on board.

I immediately don't like the aliens. The Hey, It's That Guy in the middle with the Dumbo ears always plays bad guys, and the cheek tumors don't help. "We're stellar cartographers." Yeah, but you dress like railway hoboes. Archer is way, way too trusting. Hasn't he ever watched the show? (Galaxy Quest reference there)

Obligatory getting ready scene where everyone runs around looking serious and music plays in the background. I could swear I saw B.A. Baracus arc-welding armor around the A-Team van in the background somewhere.

"I'm not accustomed to making emotional appeals." Then you shouldn't be making them to a Vulcan, Phloxy. And she gives in! Aaaagh! First real false note of the evening. T'Pol gains one more point in the Worse. Vulcan. Ever. sweepstakes.

See, I told you thery weren't stellar cartographers! Neener neener.

Enh? Why did T'Pol lie? Foreshadowing alert.

"Would you like to try out the Captain's chair?" Heh. Oooo! Hoshi! She looks kind of pissed, though. Can she have something to do, please?

"Spatial turbulence"?!? Bah, bad science. Bad, bad science. No biscuit. There's no turbulence in space. The wave front of the storm hitting the ship causing it to jerk around, yes, but turbulence generally is caused by air movement or air pressure changes. No air, or any other medium for that matter, in space. Porthos looks generally unconcerned - that's probably because it's just the camera jerking around and not the set. If it were my pets, they'd be cowering under the bed by now.

Solkar was the first Vulcan Ambassador to Earth? I'm impressed someone remembered their continuity - Solkar was Sarek of Vulcan's grandfather. More Hoshi! Gives a whole new meaning to electric toothbrush, doesn't it? "Your quarters will probably feel like a ballroom after this." Little Linda Park in-joke there.

Speaking of latrines, where does Porthos go during this time? In fact, where does he go, normally? Is there an arboretum somewhere with a nice tree?

T'Pol makes a reference to the kahs-wan ordeal (from TAS' "Yesteryear") and I swoon. Can we give these writers more to do please?

As usual Malcolm and Trip bicker like a married couple. Oh, just kiss already. And holy crap, we actually see Chef! At least the bottom half of him. And he wears white! Wouldn't it be cool if he turned out to be Gareth Blackstock?

Linda Park loses some points for me when she rolls her eyes at "The Day The Earth Stood Still". Hey, that's still one of my favorites.

More Cheek Tumor guys wandering around Engineering. Seems they're immune to the neutronic wave front, then... or was that a ruse. Ah, Enterprise appears to have picked up a hitch-hiker. Makes sense, what with all the "turbulence" a ship docking would have been chalked up to the bumpy ride.

Okay, so now we know the Cheek Tumor Hoboes are fugitives. And that the Cheek Tumor Cops have either crap scanning equipment or scans can't penetrate the catwalk. If the latter, that's an interesting quality that could be used as a plot point in future.

Interesting dilemma though - believe the deserters who've lied or not? But that's taken out of consideration when the warp reactor comes on line. And anyway, it becomes really obvious that they're the baddies now, anyway.

So comes the long, long foregone conclusion which takes nearly 4 minutes - with nary an element of jeopardy in it because you know Enterprise is gonna come up unscathed. And it's over.

Not bad at all - which goes to show that Enterprise can be decent without Bermaga at the helm. Again. Personally I could done without the Cheek Tumor Alien Cops B-story and concentrated more on character development, but I guess you had to inject a little jeopardy, no matter how false, into it somehow. Except for a few false notes, it was generally okay.

Grade: B

Comments

[jost.livejournal.com]

This episode established two divergent facts: First, they at least have read their Vulcan history and it made me giddy to hear both the Solkar and the Kahs-wan references. If T'Pol had told Archer about her pet Sehlat it would have made me cackle with geek happiness. Oh well. Secondly, and this is the kicker as we've established they've read their Vulcan history, that the writers don't know how to actually write for a Vulcan. The Kirk-esque dramatic pause surrounding "nearly destroyed" was like hitting the viewers in the head with the blunt end of the nacelle. She lied, she was outright emotional and she was catty with her reaction to Archer's water polo match scene. And please, please, PLEASE let her one time actually rattle off the odds one time when somebody makes a stupid reference to "Do you know what the odds of that are?" "Yes, two billion six hundred eighty-two million seven hundred thousand six hunders and eigheteen to one. And your point, Lieutenant?" I'm still not convinced that the problem(s) with T'Pol are her inability to portray a Vulcan but rather I think they exist on the writing front. We've obvious example that the writers don't know where they're taking the Vulcans and boy does it show in her character.

[khaosworks.livejournal.com]

Lying is not a problem. Vulcans can and do lie. We know this. I just don't understand why she lied in this instance - there seemed no reason to.

I don't mind T'Pol being catty or generally snotty - I can accept that's how Vulcans are, really. Remember, Spock was half-Vulcan and overcompensating for being so, and even then he was often sarcastic as hell to McCoy. Vulcans repress their emotions, but they don't repress their superior attitudes. I can forgive this interpretation because ultimately, our standard of what a Vulcan is comes from a person who is actually the uber-Vulcan, and thus non-standard. Even if you take Sarek, he's a diplomat, so he would have learned to be more politic about tolerating humans (not to mention the fact he married Amanda would have that effect). Gary Graham, however, is a crap Vulcan.

[mactavish.livejournal.com]

We expected, throughout the show, that the entire crew would be running around in blue undies once the temperature on the catwalk shot up. I was disappointed. *sigh*

We also wondered where Porthos poops. I carry a plastic bag for when DJ poops in public, and I assume Archer does too, but those get stinky and build up.

[branna.livejournal.com]

Actually, if they were going through plasma, I think the plasma could have turbulent flow...

[khaosworks.livejournal.com]

Well that's my point, really. The plasma or whatever the neutronic storm is made of, is the material that flows over the ship and knocks it about silly. That's fine, so it's "plasma turbulence" or whatever material turbulence - I'd even be happy with neutronic turbulence. But to call it "spatial turbulence" implies that it is space itself that is turbulent, which is wrong (except at maybe the quantum level).

Thanks!

[djfanboy.livejournal.com]

That's the first time anyone's actually spelled out 'neener neener', on an LJ or otherwise.

Now I know how to spell it.

:)

[sdelmonte]

I enjoyed this, and agree that we would have been better off without the aliens. I do wonder, though. Aren't there two nacelles? Shouldn't there have been two catwalks? Or did I miss something during my class in early starship design?

This episode didn't resemble any episode of any previous Trek series. But it did remind me of a M*A*S*H episode where the 4077th is forced to take refuge in a cave during an attack. There, IIRC, Hawkeye was the claustrophobe. I guess if you're going to steal, steal from the best. :)

[khaosworks.livejournal.com]

Trip did mention that the catwalk was the maintainence shaft running aloing "each" nacelle, so I assumed that the crew was distributed between the two nacelles.

Actually, a bigger plot point is why Phlox was so adamant that T'Pol find space for his zoo - after all, didn't he say that Sickbay was shielded and it was possible for some of the crew to survive there? Why not leave his pets in there, and have people escorted to Sickbay in suits if the need arose?