khaosworks | Pulling For Peace

They Come In Peace

For Mr. O. - an anonymous founder of several websites that sell masturbation accessories - the fight against the planned war in Iraq starts at home. Alone. Since O. created www.masturbateforpeace.com last September, more than 12,000 individuals from eighty-six countries and all fifty states have electronically pledged to masturbate in their "own time and own way, for the cause of peace." In the site's "How I Plan to Masturbate for Peace" section, responses range from the poetic ("I will stand naked on a cliff face and masturbate out into the ocean and sky, drawing us all a little closer to peace as I climax in joy") to the bizarre ("With a butternut squash. My violation of the fruit will signify the violation of the world by war"). Even some pro-war crank yankers are getting in on the action: "I will masturbate by visualizing the systematic, efficient destruction of the Iraqi regime carried out by a U.N. coalition of forces, spearheaded by the technological superiority of the US military," wrote one contributor from Washington, D.C. On second thought, maybe a policy of containment isn't a bad idea.