You eTease, you...

The bot who loved me

He has blond hair, blue eyes and a sarcastic sense of humor. He's an artist, writer or musician, between the ages of 28 and 32. His idea of fun on a first date is a walk in the park, but he hankers to go on an African safari.

And this man -- whoever he is -- likes me. The Internet told me so.

Just a few walks in the park from now, I could be on the savanna in Zaire with Mr. X, trading acerbic remarks about the redoubtable mating habits of wildebeests.

There's just one hitch: I'm not convinced that this secret admirer actually exists. He may just be the bot who loved me.

I've never gotten these e-mails. I guess they must be choked off by the pr0n spam.

The Charity - um, Community Shield

The curtain rises on the 2002-2003 Season of the English FA Premier League with today's match-up against Arsenal and Liverpool for the newly renamed Community Shield. It's not a game that counts towards anything in the season, so it's traditionally just a nice friendly little game, no real effort put in - and nobody wants to get injured just as the season is starting.

It's half-time now, though, and still 0-0, despite numerous chances by Arsenal. As usual, the Liverpool defence is full of holes and we really should be scoring if only Henry and Wiltord would show a little more fucking aggression and if Ray Parlour could actually aim. Okay, I'm being harsh on Ray - it was a pretty close miss. I'll chalk this up to Viera having to fill some very big Captain's boots with the retirement of Tony Adams. True to form, though, Arsenal have already chalked up three yellow cards. One by Wiltord, one for Viera's sliding tackle of Michael Owen (and yes, it was pretty blatant, but it was the only way to have stopped Owen's legendary speed in charging towards the goal though) and another to Thierry Henry, which actually was pretty harsh because it didn't look like anything wrong was done there.

Ah, plus ça change...

[Update: 10.16 PM. Still scoreless, despite a painful ricochet off the post by Henry that, given a couple of inches to the right, should have... ah, but "almosts" are an Arsenal fan's lot. I'll say this, though, Jerzy Dudek, the Liverpool goalkeeper, is the only thing keeping their defence together.]

[Update: 10.27 PM. YES! Gilberto Silva (19), who replaced Edu in the 2nd half, scores his first goal as an Arsenal player in th 68th minute! Well done, my boy! 1-0 to the Arsenal!]

[Update: 10.53 PM. And it's all over - final score, 1-0, and Arsenal take the Shield for the 10th time. Good start to the season.]