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khaosworksPrisoner sues God
But hang on, he's already thought of that, by levelling the complaint not just at God, but the Orthodox Church as God's legal representatives. That one may be a little tricky though, since they probably don't have a letter of authority from God. It might be easier to serve it on the Pope, though, since there's that entire papal succession all the way from Peter, and that's documented in the Bible, technically speaking.
On the other hand, it's a criminal complaint, which the prosecutor's office says they are turning down because they can't subpoena God. Also, even if you call in the Church, you can't really prosecute someone by proxy. After all, if God is convicted, how would He serve his sentence? You can't get a legal representative who is not the accused to serve it, or pay a fine, after all.
So basically, he'd have to mount a private prosecution, since the prosecutor's office won't touch it. But then the accused can't be located, and even if you can serve the summons on his representative(s), you can't produce him in court to answer to the charge. What are you going to do, cite Him for contempt? Put out an APB for His arrest, perhaps. So the case will be stalled until the accused can be found.
But isn't God everywhere (except tupperware lids)? Maybe the complainant can put himself on trial, since God is within. Which is handy, because he's already serving a sentence.
But let's say it can go to trial — I'm still not sure that he can prove the charges. Cheating requires intention to cheat; corruption also is hard to prove since you can't prove God took any payments. What he seems to be alleging is a breach of contract, and that's not a criminal offence.
Even if the breach was unintentional, there's probably negligence involved, but surely there's contributory negligence involved, since he obviously wasn't looking out enough for himself to figure out that he was in the hands of the Devil.
But anyway, civil suit: he can serve the writ via substituted service by pasting it on the Church's doors. But the likelihood is that the Pope probably won't even bother to enter an appearance, so he'll get a default judgment at 100% liability, damages to be assessed.
So, pain and suffering, loss of income, lost of future earnings... it all adds up.
How much Nazi gold is in the Vatican's coffers again?
I need a vacation.
A Romanian prisoner is suing God for failing to save him from the Devil.Now here's an interesting intellectual exercise. Is there a problem serving the summons out of jurisdiction? Would he be able to have substituted service against God by posting it on the door of a church? Come to think of it, that's how Martin Luther did it...
The inmate, named as Pavel M in media reports, accused God of "cheating, abuse and traffic of influence".
His complaint reads: "I, the undersigned Pavel M, currently jailed at Timisoara Penitentiary serving a 20 years sentence for murder, request legal action against God, resident in Heaven, and represented here by the Romanian Orthodox Church, for committing the following crimes: cheating, concealment, abuse against people's interest, taking bribe and traffic of influence."
The inmate argued that his baptism was a contract between him and God who was supposed to keep the Devil away and keep him out of trouble.
He added: "God even claimed and received from me various goods and prayers in exchange for forgiveness and the promise that I would be rid of problems and have a better life.
"But on the contrary I was left in Devil's hands."
The complaint was sent to the Timisoara Court of Justice and forwarded to the prosecutor's office.
But prosecutors said it would probably be dropped and they were unable to subpoena God to court.
But hang on, he's already thought of that, by levelling the complaint not just at God, but the Orthodox Church as God's legal representatives. That one may be a little tricky though, since they probably don't have a letter of authority from God. It might be easier to serve it on the Pope, though, since there's that entire papal succession all the way from Peter, and that's documented in the Bible, technically speaking.
On the other hand, it's a criminal complaint, which the prosecutor's office says they are turning down because they can't subpoena God. Also, even if you call in the Church, you can't really prosecute someone by proxy. After all, if God is convicted, how would He serve his sentence? You can't get a legal representative who is not the accused to serve it, or pay a fine, after all.
So basically, he'd have to mount a private prosecution, since the prosecutor's office won't touch it. But then the accused can't be located, and even if you can serve the summons on his representative(s), you can't produce him in court to answer to the charge. What are you going to do, cite Him for contempt? Put out an APB for His arrest, perhaps. So the case will be stalled until the accused can be found.
But isn't God everywhere (except tupperware lids)? Maybe the complainant can put himself on trial, since God is within. Which is handy, because he's already serving a sentence.
But let's say it can go to trial — I'm still not sure that he can prove the charges. Cheating requires intention to cheat; corruption also is hard to prove since you can't prove God took any payments. What he seems to be alleging is a breach of contract, and that's not a criminal offence.
Even if the breach was unintentional, there's probably negligence involved, but surely there's contributory negligence involved, since he obviously wasn't looking out enough for himself to figure out that he was in the hands of the Devil.
But anyway, civil suit: he can serve the writ via substituted service by pasting it on the Church's doors. But the likelihood is that the Pope probably won't even bother to enter an appearance, so he'll get a default judgment at 100% liability, damages to be assessed.
So, pain and suffering, loss of income, lost of future earnings... it all adds up.
How much Nazi gold is in the Vatican's coffers again?
I need a vacation.
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no subject
Date: 2005-10-17 02:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-17 02:03 pm (UTC)So not only can it be done, there's legal precedent. Of course, there's the whole issue of God being a repeat offender, now...
no subject
Date: 2005-10-17 02:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-17 04:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-18 03:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-17 05:05 pm (UTC)